"It’s Not You, It’s... Actually, It Is You": Breakup Letters/Texts from Disenchanted Voters
Not policy critiques. Not ideological manifestos. Breakup letters – Digital Dumps!
I recently heard about a focus group where voters wrote actual breakup letters—to the Democratic Party.
Not policy critiques. Not ideological manifestos. Breakup letters – Digital Dumps!
You know what I mean:
They weren’t arguing over Medicare policy or tax brackets.
They were saying what anyone says when they feel hurt and unseen:
“I don’t think you actually care about me.”
Brutal. And honestly? Fair.
It made me think: if these voters dumped us like an ex, maybe we need to stop acting like a campaign and start acting like someone who actually wants to get back together. So I went to the most credible source I could find on the subject: teen mags and blogs!
Yeah. You read that right.
HelloGiggles, Seventeen, and Teen Vogue all had tips on how to win back your ex—and once I got past the glitter gel fonts and pictures of Zendaya and Jennie, I realized something: they’re not wrong.
The advice isn’t about having the perfect line.
It’s about changing your behavior.
Being consistent.
Listening.
Showing up.
Being better, not just sounding better.
So here it is: a highly unscientific, emotionally astute…
Teen Mag Guide to How Democrats Can Get Back With Our Ex
💌 Step 1: Give Them Space (But Don’t Disappear)
Teen Mag Tip: “Don’t blow up their phone. Give them room to miss you.”
Political Translation: Stop love-bombing voters right before Election Day. Be present year-round.
📍 Behavior Fix:
Hire long-term local organizers, not short-term staffers.
Show up to their school board meetings, union rallies, county fairs.
No more “We care about you!” texts 36 hours before polls close. Be there in February and November.
🧠 Step 2: Own What You Did Wrong
Teen Mag Tip: “If you messed up, say so. No excuses.”
Political Translation: Stop blaming Fox News and misinformation for everything. That’s real—but it’s not the full story.
📍 Behavior Fix:
Acknowledge when we took voters for granted. (It IS us)
We need to show up where they are – not just on TV ads.
Stop talking down to small town and rural voters like they don’t understand the world—they do. They just see it differently.
🧍 Step 3: Work on Yourself First
Teen Mag Tip: “Glow up for you, not for them.”
Political Translation: Voters won’t come back just because we say, “Look how great we are now.” They need to see us putting in the work.
📍 Behavior Fix:
Ditch the talking points - be in the local community
Stop using national spokespeople over grassroots community voices
Stop blaming low turnout on voters—own the failure to inspire or show results.
🗣️ Step 4: Rebuild Trust Through Conversations, Not Campaign Slogans
Teen Mag Tip: “Don’t text them at 2 a.m. and call it love.”
Political Translation: Stop dropping buzzwords and expecting people to swoon. Start a real, human conversation.
📍 Behavior Fix:
Talk like a person. Say “we’re fixing roads” not “enhancing transportation infrastructure.”
Ditch the press release voice. Voters don’t want to hear “leveraging bipartisan appropriations to support strategic investment.” They want to hear, “We fought to get our town the funding to keep our hospital open.”
Shut up and listen. Like, actually listen.
Then ask real questions:
“What’s working in our community?”
“What’s broken?”
“What do you need to feel like someone’s on your side again?”
👉 Pro Tip: If your outreach sounds like it was written by a Senate committee staffer, it’s probably not winning hearts. Use your porch voice, not your podium voice.
🌅 Step 5: Offer a Real Future, Not Just Regret
Teen Mag Tip: “Don’t say ‘I miss the old days.’ Say ‘Here’s how things could be better now.’”
Political Translation: Don’t try to win back 2012. Show a vision for 2025—and beyond.
📍 Behavior Fix:
Talk about what matters in their everyday lives – jobs, kids and family.
Build a vision rooted in dignity, fairness, and belonging.
Let them see themselves in the future we’re building—not just as voters, but as co-creators.
💬 Final Thought: Stop Asking for Trust. Start Earning It.
Winning back voters—especially those in factory towns and rural areas—isn’t about message testing alone.
It’s about relationship repair.
We broke trust, and trust takes time to rebuild.
But here’s the good news:
People do want to believe in something again.
They want to feel heard.
They want to know we’re in this for them—not just for power.
So yeah. I took dating advice from a Teen Vogue article.
And weirdly?
It might be the most honest roadmap we’ve had in a while.
Let’s stop obsessing over “what to say” and start focusing on how we behave.
Because no message—no matter how well-tested—can fix a broken relationship if we don’t mean it.
“Glow up” is now my favorite phrase! :)
In 1984 I quit my job for Kerry / Edwards and worked at the DNC. After we lost I looked at comms and realized that dems never develop year round comms etc. It is only during campaign season that they care. I waited to get a thank you holiday card from the DNC etc. It never came. Ever. I don't think we will ever learn how to build 365 political party infrastructure because it is too difficult. It is much more fun to raise billions 4 months before an election and then spend it on endless TV ads that no one watches or cares about. But, hey, our small group of media consultants make bank!